Revising

What’s your project? In this essay, I would like to propose research. By using background information, an interview, and multiple site visits, explain why the research is necessary and how it would be beneficial.

What works? I think the strength of my draft is using factual information such as statistics as well as opinions such as direct quotes. I can build on this strength by making sure that the quantitative and qualitative information that I use is stated in a way that adds to the paper and doesn’t take away from the paper (if a bunch of confusing numbers were listed that weren’t supportive, or a quote was very wordy and unclear).

What else might be said? I am still deciding whether there is a need to add an abstract since my actual proposal is towards the end of the paper, or if the background information is enough said. I am also considering adding a cost section. Although my proposal does not ask for a certain amount of funding it does ask for specific equipment and I may need to research into how much this equipment actually costs.

What’s next? Since the work is a research proposal the next step would be the actual research. Hopefully the proposal will be very clear, but will still leave the reader thinking about other possible opinions or options of research related to the topic at hand.